Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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