Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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