check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
