**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
wow bdsm is so cute
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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