So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
