community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
