But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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