The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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