Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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