chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
