Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
