she looked like the before picture.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize