i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
