I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
