what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
