i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
