i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle