capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
should my penis look like a turkey
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.