things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd