Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
