I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize