If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
