i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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