yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
