Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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