Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
there is puke in my bra ... again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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