you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
