I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
