I wish my penis had an off switch
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
