I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
