Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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