I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
