He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
