so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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