The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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