i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
