Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
