Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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