Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
