You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
