At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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