look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
