just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize