I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
