just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
