If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
