If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
