like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
