there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
