the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
