East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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