the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
