Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.

Fav 1 1553 839
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

Fav 46 7406 1291
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night

Fav 5 4709 1133
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

Fav 26 5728 1038
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

Fav 12 4604 1734
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

Fav 9 3538 936
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(226): View more from Ontario

wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.

Fav 8 1942 1384
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups

Fav 3 716 467
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.

Fav 3 22 70
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT