Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
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on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw