I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros