Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

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(985): View more from Louisiana

If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.

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(818): View more from California

I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

(310): View more from California

wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

(818): View more from California

why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

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(631): View more from New York

this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.

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(954): View more from Florida

On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?

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