I accidentally had phone sex last night
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your shirt... Was in my pants