I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
