Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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