so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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