I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I could fuck to npr.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
