There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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