Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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