the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
